Lonely Owner Seeks Holiday Guests


In a surprising turn, Simsmore’s notoriously scrooge-like owner is aiming to fill his courts by discounting. During the period of December 24 through January 3, court rentals are half price for members. “It is a bah humbug kind of thing,” said Tim Ruark, “I go to the trouble of creating the best courts and lighting in the Hartford area, and then every December the government and religious leaders elect to pick my pocket. And travel companies too, how can I rent a court to a customer that is sitting in the Bahamas? You can’t skype a court rental! I can’t even sell them a magnet.”

Non members are also invited to play at a discount, as they can enjoy member rates during these dates. Simsmore Tennis will be closed on Christmas Day and New Year’s Day, but generally open otherwise. Please call in advance if you are able, to ensure your court will be open.

“If you total the cost of the items on my two kids’ Christmas list, it is well over $3 million dollars. So normal pricing will return effective Monday January 4.”
The owners son, evaluating potential gifts.